Daily Rantics

I figured something was messed up when I didn't bawl my godgiven eyes out at our wedding, should have known with my hormones up in a tizzy and all that it'd come to a boiling point...aka, yesterday.

We got our car back yesterday.  It's been a month since I crashed the damn thing on the 401.  Broke my heart to see it the week before I left, grabbed my GPS, and found my baby without doors or anything. I thought I was going to puke.

So driving after the accident wasn't too bad, I took to the Nissan sentra like it was my own. But then I drove my car yesterday and after being cut off three times and having to slam my breaks, and squeal tires once, I got home and nearly lost it. I don't think I've cried that hard in a long time.

I just don't want to fuck our situation up any more than I already did with the first accident. I don't want another one. Ever.

And now I get the news that Adam's brother doesnt want to move out with us, leaving us high and dry without someone to live with in Oakville, meaning we have to bank at least 1200 bucks a month for an apartment, when we can barely afford what we're doing now in Guelph alone! Im starting to think going back to school is a lot more of a hassel than I thought it was in the beginning. I know I can't drive to Oakville everyday, not after the accident....not even before then.

Of course Bruce did ask if without him moving out with us would it make it impossible for us to move, I said no. I lied. I didn't want to make him feel obligated for our sake. He'd do just that too, thats just the kind of guy he is.

Apparently living with us would be awkward. I can't say I get that feeling from him as I am completely comfortable with him....but whatever..he thinks it'd be awkward, I guess he would be awkward.... I figured he would be happy to have his dinner ready for him when he came home.

But alas, nothing ever works the way its suppose to with Adam and I. We always struggle. Its just in our books.