What a breeze
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
I am sitting out on my back patio, taking in the fresh air and lilac scent, watching Lucy nose around every inch of the garden, looking for God only knows what, while studying for criminology and concepts of helping, which I have two midterms for tomorrow.
Got a little bit on my mind, no doubt I do I am writing on my blogspot...
Things have been pretty good lately. My mind is clear, my focus is exact, it's refreshing. The only thing is there are some things I am putting off, only for the greater good I assume...my benefit I suppose...
How to you come face to face with something that has defeated you time and time again in your past? Whether it be a nasty rival...or a very good friend. How do you say words you've said time and time again, hoping they'll stick this time...but really knowing they won't...that's the track record you are working with.
If I contently live my life without anyone else in it, I seem to have a perfect balance. I feel strong and certain when I know whats going through my head....but when you interject other people, and well honestly, volatile other people, things aren't so black and white. The whole point of the matter is I am safe when I can control a situation and keep it to my liking. But when you interject other people, you can't control them.
No, I'm not saying I want to control the population in some dominating "take over the world" type jib, I just mean that I know when I am stable, and what I can handle within my own means, but when you put someone else in the equation, things do not make sense to me.
The question is, how do you stay in an argument when one person has blocked out the full and honest reason why it happened in the first place?
We've never had this happen before, to this extent, obviously some where deep down I was shaken enough to have to hide, isn't that grounds enough to show you something is wrong?
And isn't it wrong that you have no idea what happened for this to happen? For me to recluse like this?
I feel like I am just not strong enough to do this by my self, but I don't want others in the situation because...they started this in the first place.
Got a little bit on my mind, no doubt I do I am writing on my blogspot...
Things have been pretty good lately. My mind is clear, my focus is exact, it's refreshing. The only thing is there are some things I am putting off, only for the greater good I assume...my benefit I suppose...
How to you come face to face with something that has defeated you time and time again in your past? Whether it be a nasty rival...or a very good friend. How do you say words you've said time and time again, hoping they'll stick this time...but really knowing they won't...that's the track record you are working with.
If I contently live my life without anyone else in it, I seem to have a perfect balance. I feel strong and certain when I know whats going through my head....but when you interject other people, and well honestly, volatile other people, things aren't so black and white. The whole point of the matter is I am safe when I can control a situation and keep it to my liking. But when you interject other people, you can't control them.
No, I'm not saying I want to control the population in some dominating "take over the world" type jib, I just mean that I know when I am stable, and what I can handle within my own means, but when you put someone else in the equation, things do not make sense to me.
The question is, how do you stay in an argument when one person has blocked out the full and honest reason why it happened in the first place?
We've never had this happen before, to this extent, obviously some where deep down I was shaken enough to have to hide, isn't that grounds enough to show you something is wrong?
And isn't it wrong that you have no idea what happened for this to happen? For me to recluse like this?
I feel like I am just not strong enough to do this by my self, but I don't want others in the situation because...they started this in the first place.
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