Daily Rantics

A couple years ago, I went through a transition wherein I had many people from my past (and not such pleasant past memories fyi) resurfacing, and some how pushing themselve back into my "personal space". I  had a lot of appologizes, a lot of fingers pointed, and a lot of unanswered questions swarming me.

Facebook has been one of those outlets, that people just seem to find me and weasel there way back into my life.

While the people I spoke about in the first paragraph may have hurt me, they were very very good friends of mine and I found it in my heart to forgive them.

Recent, a person from my past has added me to Facebook.  Actually its down right scary.   She taunted me in gradeschool, turned my friends against me, wouldn't let me sit in her "personal space" (I hate that term, hence the "") and made my life a living hell.  She spread rumers, said NASTY NASTY things about me, some of which I just tried to accomodate her as we shared friends and ran in the same circle.  She was extremely rude and mean, skinny as a rake, and loved to point out my flaws.  I hated her.

Even speaking about her now makes me angry and kind of misty eyed. I  tried so hard for her to like me.  So hard... but she hurt me a lot.

So now she adds me to facebook, and it leads me to wonder why.  Is it so that her and her friends (that also taunted me) can sit down with some popcorn to harass me via facebook, or laugh over my pictures, or whatever the case may be? I'm scared this is true.

So why did I agree to add her to facebook you ask?... Maybe because I am a little curious myself as well.  Why after all this time, after all those words, feelings, is she adding me.  She probably doesn't think she hurt me in the slightest, or that by her adding me, its anything other than a courtesy"add" or whatever, but it is so much more to me.  So much more.

I think I might limit her settings, so she can't see everything...but thats kind of cheating.

Why do I still feel threatened by this bitch? I'm 22, stable job, relationship, everything, and she still hits a place that no one else can reach.

Its frightening.  Maybe I'm still that 14 year old girl.

Terri, you will have to come over so we can peruse her pictures.