Friday November 20, 2009.
Friday, November 20, 2009
"You know the saying; you can't teach a old dog new tricks. Seems your that old dog girlie, because you keep going back to the same old rotten, chewed up, gnarly maggot infested dog bone buried under the manure pile where it belongs. History isn't suppose to repeat itself"
Sometimes it hard to be supportive of you. I know I'm one of the very few people in your life that truly care about you, that truly want what’s best for you, and you know it too. And I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry your family isn't there for you like they should be, that you try to find love and solace with people who don't deserve the wonderful person you are. I'm truly sorry my friend.
History repeats itself over and over for you. Over and over. It's okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. You keep making the same mistake over and over and over. You don't learn. I try to be supportive. I really do. I know sometimes I come off as harsh and overbearing, demanding and judgmental, but I do it only because I care so much about you.
You have to understand, that as you are alone right now, so am I. My family is miles away from me, I have Adam and his wonderful family, which I am very very thankful for...but they aren't the same homey feeling I get from my family back home. I get that from you. And I cherish that feeling from you. I also feel that you are the only person in the entire world that I can be me around, and that I express myself and everything I am thinking to you, no holds barred. I want to be honest with you, but I feel I am overstepping my boundaries, and what’s the use anyway, I waste my breath preaching to you. I feel like a parent to you, rather than a friend. I don't want that.
So I'm making this step in the right direction today. I cannot be supportive of your demeaning and hurtful decisions in life. I cannot be a bystander, watching this freak show. I'm stepping back. I will miss you. And I love you.
I am still here, but only when you want me too. I have no more energy.
I will miss us.
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