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Thursday, November 19, 2009
My mother thinks the medication I'm on makes me an emotionless drained energy drone.
I don't think it does. I finally feel alive. But perhaps its helped me step back from her, and she is experiecing the gap between us and its affecting her.
We had a spat tonight, or something of the fact. Its not that I didn't want to speak with her, but I was tired and scared. Her telephone calls are scary to me. She brings up scary stuff, or things I don't want to always talk about. Sometimes I just want to talk with my mom, shoot the breeze. I don't want to speak about negative things, or things she doesn't get about me. But that always seems to be something she wants to talk about in EVERY conversation.
I know I'm a book written in a foreign language to her. But that doesn't mean she can't try to learn a few things.
I love my mother with all my heart. But sometimes our conversations drain whatever life is left out of me at the end of the day.
I also had a long hard day today, but she doesn't understand how that could affect me once I am home, away from work. Funny that she would say that, as all she's done in the last three years is bring her worklife home with her. However scornful and unhappy the expereince was, I let her vent.
I know it will get worse with the wedding fastly approaching. She'll harass me from sunup to sundown about details, details, details.
I think I'm going to have to elope.
I don't think it does. I finally feel alive. But perhaps its helped me step back from her, and she is experiecing the gap between us and its affecting her.
We had a spat tonight, or something of the fact. Its not that I didn't want to speak with her, but I was tired and scared. Her telephone calls are scary to me. She brings up scary stuff, or things I don't want to always talk about. Sometimes I just want to talk with my mom, shoot the breeze. I don't want to speak about negative things, or things she doesn't get about me. But that always seems to be something she wants to talk about in EVERY conversation.
I know I'm a book written in a foreign language to her. But that doesn't mean she can't try to learn a few things.
I love my mother with all my heart. But sometimes our conversations drain whatever life is left out of me at the end of the day.
I also had a long hard day today, but she doesn't understand how that could affect me once I am home, away from work. Funny that she would say that, as all she's done in the last three years is bring her worklife home with her. However scornful and unhappy the expereince was, I let her vent.
I know it will get worse with the wedding fastly approaching. She'll harass me from sunup to sundown about details, details, details.
I think I'm going to have to elope.
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