Daily Rantics

I've been practicing anti-socialism as of late. Its been nice to run off and detach myself from the people I usually spend most of my time with at school during breaks. I remember last year I really hated being alone at all, but now I hate not being alone....lol.

I have also gotten into the habit of wearing my ear buds ALL the time....they aren't even plugged into my ipod....actually I don't even carry my ipod....just my ear buds.... LOL that's how antisocial I am. I just poke the plug in end into my pocket and pretend I'm listening to music! I mean mostly I do it because the college is very loud in the common areas, and the ear buds are sound reducing, so it helps me focus and ward off migraines, but yeah...totes using them for anti-socialism agendas as well.

I wonder, does that make me bad person? lol.

I mean, at least it means I'm smart...because people totally leave me alone when I put the buds in my ears.

Whatever, I just really enjoy my own company these days. Surprising as I've always hated being alone in the past, and actually went out of my way to be with people who wouldn't of even made the same effort for me.

The only thing I am craving right now, is some Nicole time. I am coming across so many things I want to talk to her about with my work at The Well, and I just have the need to relate. I think I know superficially what it feels like to be an "assumed lesbian", and she needs some recognition in my opinion.

I also miss her familiarity. Unno, I get the same safe-net feeling from her that I get from Adam...which isn't too surprising, they are kind of the same person in a lot of ways, just different sexes, lol.  But aside from that, I want to be secluded and left alone.

I also have been avoiding my mother, or perhaps not fighting hard enough to find time to speak with her. I know she is very worried, but I dunno... I am running on empty and need this week to go away so that everything can go back to normal.

I also came home today from work at 2:30pm and slept from about 3pm to 7pm. It was awesome. The only problem now is that I really should be getting sleepy by now and finding my way to bed, to sleep. Instead I am on my computer, writing this, and again, as usual, feinding off sleep.  I read on my nook tablet for a while, but the screen was bugging my eyes, and I had nothing I wanted to read that didn't cost me an arm and a leg (56 bucks for a social workers guide to working with LGBTQ is totally not in the budget right now) so yeah.

I have to go be productive or sleep or something... chow.

I have been on a serious peanut butter craze as of late, and I litrally feel if I dont get my bagel, peanut butter and large earl grey tea in the morning I just might explode.

I'm ok this morning, I got my fix.

So things have been pretty good lately.  Got some more progress done with the whole practicum thing, house is shaping up and we're installing a new ac and furnace next week.  We are also having an energy audit. I'm trying to cut back on consuption of gas and electric.

we also should be getting our bedroom floors done this month, wihch is nice cause I hate the carpet. It smells.

I also have fruitation in the garden...finally!!!!!! my strawberry experiment failed, but im gonna partially blame that on me, and this crazy hot weather.  I dont even remember the last time it rained? mah.

Life is good. Things are feeling better, much more zen than usual. I don't know when that box'll come flying down and hit me on the head, but for the time being, I am living good.

I have a bridal shower tomorrow than the weekend is entirely MINE.

I love that. Haven't had those in a while! <3

Now I have to plan something for our first year aniversary but i'm not sure what. Maybe I can convince Adam to go to Quebec or Ottawa... hmm

k

Vacation time everyone!


This vacation could not come at a better time, and we need it more than most people sometimes.  This vacation is also considered our honeymoon, but where most couples hold up in a hot place by the ocean we're hitting the mean streets of DC to get our culture on, then enjoy some time in Virginia Beach. I am hoping it will be warm enough to swim, and if not, to at least sun bathe. I am white. Whiter than white... I am iridecent. And yes, I like my whiteness, and yes, I am uber obsessed with cancer and sun ruining my skin (gotta keep my moles unmolested, hahaha), but that doesn't mean I can't wear only 2 layers of sun screen instread of 3! A slight bake is better than a full on orange fit!

Anyway, if I don't post, you know why... I say I will be backdating my posts so that I can keep track of them here. But, you'll see.


Say tuned :) I can't wait to eat DC.

Kdawg

One minute, our house plans are dashed. Then their on, off, on, off. Car accident, Jasper's sickness, car repairs, you name it, it happens to us ten fold at the same time. I spent a few nights this week weepy and sad, knowing that we couldn't afford to move to Oakville for me to start school in January because of the above mentioned incidents. They had drained all our savings, no first and last rents money, no honeymoon, no nothing.

We've cancelled our honeymoon, knowing full well we cannot afford to go on it anymore. These things, I believe they call life experiences, are happening to us all at the same time. Now sitting with our finances in ruins, $1000 car deductible, $1400 cat emergency vet hospitalization, and $1100 in car repairs/winter tires, we're broke. Hell, who am I kidding, the car repairs haven't even been paid for yet, its the other $2400 bucks that left us in ruins, although the car repairs would have dented our savings, our honeymoon could have at least happened.

So I left myself at the beginning of the week, sad and depressed. No longer was I going back to school, moving to Oakville or going on my honeymoon to Florida with my husband. I wasn't sure what I should be thankful for today. I wasn't completely sure. Thankful I was still alive and married to my hubby? As it stands, its all I've got.

But today things changed. We wanted to speak with Adams parents, let them know whats up, and what, uh, wasn't up anymore...and his mom surprised us.  She suggested they buy us a condo, and we still move to Oakville, and I still go back to school... it was quite a surprising moment, not going to lie, and of course we cancelled our honeymoon through her, as she was the one that set it up through our timeshare company as it was.

So again, I sit in the roller car, making my way up to the peak of this coaster, well, what I think is the peak, waiting for my stomach to gush and lodge between my lungs and breastplate, knowing I shouldn't get overexcited about this, as it will most likely come tumbling down, c'est la vie n'est pas? Well regardless of that, I can't help but feel jovial and certain that this CAN work now. It can. I'm hopeful, and kind of bloated.

So, I've spent the last four days without Adam because his work has taken him and litterally has consumed his night and day. He's working so hard when I do see him (and mind you, its brief and uncomfortable) he's got a headache and a cold coming on. It's from all the work he's been doing. Putting in 30 hours overtime in three days is NOT my idea of fun, and I stand by that.

I hope someday he has a job that appreciates him and doesn't expect him to work 30 hours overtime and not get paid for it. I assure you its not the way to go, and one day I might haul off and hit somebody there.

He should, but I'm a fighter. lol

So this weekend Adam and I are going to Niagara falls for the weekend, we're going to stay in a fancaay suite at the Four Seasons. Honestly, I'm just excited that theres a IHOP in the hotel. Yeah. Sad.

I've been totally trying to look after myself as late. Staying away from stuff that isn't good for me, although sometimes I find myself OD'ing on things that may be good for me, but I just go overboard.

I've also stopped drinking pop again, now for a week *whoa* as well as I'm totally trying really hard not to eat after 8pm, although I cheated last night fo the first time this week, again, this is where the OD'ing comes in for me.... I ate a nectarine, because I really was hungry and figured if I'm going to have to eat after 8pm it should be a fruit.  So yeah. The nectarine was awesome. I thought because I was thirsty the nectarine would help, being very watery and all... Um no. So I ate three nectarines.

Yeah.

Way over doing it Kala.

Gonna try to be good this weekend. Its hard. :(

Watching Mike Posner on Ellen right now, and dude is rocking it. I love his new cd. Hope he sticks around!

Happy Birthday to the love of my life! We're the same age for a couple months now! woo.


<3's my Adam

Adam gets in today! I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE A FAMILIAR FACE!


Holy crap. I feel like I haven’t seen him in months, although we chit chat every once in a while on the net, I prefer face to face contact. I wonder how the cats are?



He will be here later today, his flight gets in around 2, and then he has to drive 2 hours or so here to the park from Deer Lake. At least it’s a nice day and he’ll be driving a rental so the drive shouldn’t be too tedious!

I just hope mom doesn’t go nutso about where we are all sleeping. I know she goes on and on about how its “her house” and “her roof” and in “her house” under “her roof” we do what she says no matter how we live in “sin” at home in Ontario. Whatever mother dearest. We’ve been together almost eight years and have lived together for almost 5. What do you expect? We sleep in different bedrooms and don’t pee in front of each other? Phhft. Lol. Sometimes I wish we did, Adam is hard to sleep with. He flings his arms and legs around and hogs all the blankets and bed. If our bed didn’t have wood planks on either side of it I would sleep on the floor, LOL. Whatever, I love him and his weird sleeping habits, we’ll get a king size bed one of these days, and it won’t be an issue anymore, haha.


Enough said. Lol.

PS: Shout out to my Girl Robin (Aug 13), Zach and Kat (Aug 15) Happy Birthday bitchuz!

My mother thinks the medication I'm on makes me an emotionless drained energy drone.


I don't think it does. I finally feel alive. But perhaps its helped me step back from her, and she is experiecing the gap between us and its affecting her.
We had a spat tonight, or something of the fact. Its not that I didn't want to speak with her, but I was tired and scared. Her telephone calls are scary to me. She brings up scary stuff, or things I don't want to always talk about. Sometimes I just want to talk with my mom, shoot the breeze. I don't want to speak about negative things, or things she doesn't get about me. But that always seems to be something she wants to talk about in EVERY conversation.
I know I'm a book written in a foreign language to her. But that doesn't mean she can't try to learn a few things.
I love my mother with all my heart. But sometimes our conversations drain whatever life is left out of me at the end of the day.
I also had a long hard day today, but she doesn't understand how that could affect me once I am home, away from work. Funny that she would say that, as all she's done in the last three years is bring her worklife home with her. However scornful and unhappy the expereince was, I let her vent.
I know it will get worse with the wedding fastly approaching. She'll harass me from sunup to sundown about details, details, details.
I think I'm going to have to elope.