Daily Rantics

What a day I had today.

I had my social justice class exam today and it was brutal.  I didn't really know what to study and turns out, what we all had studied was really not the right thing to be studying for this exam.

It was really easy to tell that no one was really ready for this exam.  All you could hear was complaints and grumbling about how no one knew what to study or where to go with the questions that were actually on the exam.

I was really not OK with how this exam went and I am sure that I did not get any thing more than 70%.  That really sucks!  I knew I wasn't going to do very well on this test, since I really didn't study…  Mostly because it made me angry to not know what to study in the first place…  But if we really had something to go on I would've been OK.

I decided that I would e-mail my professor to let him know of my distaste for this exam.  I totally social worked him by using the sandwich method which basically says a positive then a negative and says another positive.  I hope he's proud lol.

I really should be studying human development life Spans but I just can't get buckled down.  IM more likely to fall asleep during study then actually learning anything because sleeping while studying seems to be my thing.  Instead, I find myself using my speech recognition software on my windows seven operating system to write this post.  It has been frustrating at times, but it is certainly a very neat thingy.

Clearly my articulation needs some work…  Or this program thinks I am an idiot.

Excuse me, while I go and study for this stupid exam.


peace and chicken grease.

-kala

You could be busy.

Or changing your life around.

You could be dousing out the same medicine I gave you.

You could be dead.

And I wouldn't know.

I wanted space. Because I couldn't separate our lives and focus on just my own. My mom says I'm foolish, that only mothers have the problems separating that I have.

I'm not your mother, although you deserve one, a good one. You deserve a loving and attentive mother and father, both of which you were robbed of far too early in life.

Nobody treated you the way you deserved, they didn't worry or guide you, I guess I felt I needed to. No. You didn't ask me, and no you never asked me to carry your troubles in my heart, but I did because I cared. Maybe I felt like you meant the world to me, and maybe my heart ached to see you thrown about like a discarded christmas card.

But I can't control the world around you. I can't make the bad things go away. I clouded my life for far to long, thinking our relationship was one of a two sided friendship, when in reality I was a crutch  and you were the soul that needed a lift.

Sometimes I needed you, and you weren't there.

Sometimes I wondered if you loved me as much as I loved you.... because it wasn't always apparent.

Always when you needed me, I was there.

I sheltered you, I fed you, I gave you everything I could.

I encouraged you to grow, because you ARE smarter than he thinks.

More importantly I loved you to a fault.

Sometimes I can be harsh. And I say things that hurt.  I am my mothers daughter, and no matter how much my mother loves me, she doesn't "get" every feeling I have, and thus sometimes throws me off as aloof. I did the same to you.

I know that hurt you. Sometimes I said things to hurt you deliberately because I was mad. That wasn't right, but I'm testy and anger fueled sometimes. For that I am sorry. I think I can be vindictive sometimes and its not a nice side of me.

In truth I felt abandoned by you. When I needed you. Even if you thought it was stupid, I still felt I needed you. And by the way, I only needed you. I didn't want anyone else.

Sometimes you just didn't get it. I needed you, because you are the ONLY family I have here. And I love my family. To a fault.

I bet you've felt the same feelings before. I bet you've needed someone but they've had other things to do, that perhaps were more important than you.

I know you felt unimportant a lot of your life.

I know you thought they didn't care....and I think you might have been right. I guess the question is, where are they now?  I could never say this to your face. The illusion that you were a priority to them was more comforting than the truth.

How dare you become second to a boyfriend or a girlfriend!
How dare you become homeless and no one care? You are not some trash to be discarded! Slipping you money here and there to pay for pizza doesn't account love! You should have never seen the four walls of that shelter! Because thats what GOOD parents do, they fucking shelter you.

You deserved SO much more. I knew it. I still do, but they don't.

So comes the point of this emotional fucking train ride of a blog post.

You've delivered me what you probably thought I wanted right? Out of your life.

But I didn't want that. I didn't want out. I wanted outside. Just for a bit.

I did exactly what everyone else in your life has done to you. Except you handled my exit differently. You hung on for a bit, but then decided I had made my mind up and you withdrew.

I suppose I never thought you would do that, since its not in your history to withdraw.

I wanted distance but I didn't want to be shut out. I didn't delete you from my phone and facebook, I didn't take you from my RSS feed, or even change what you could see and what you couldn't. Because I didn't want you to be out, I wanted to check up on you to make sure you were still alive.

You could be busy.

Or changing your life around.

You could be dousing out the same medicine I gave you.

You could be dead.

And I wouldn't know.

It's been more than a while, again.

I think its good when I don't have to write something in my blog. Usually I gravitate towards writing when I am lost or listless or not feeling suscinct.
Well, I am neither of those things today, thankfully, as I have had a wonderful time sleeping today and going over university websites  giving me the opportunity to attend part time Summer 2012. It is quite the experience, or feeling I should say.

I think I have decided on Ryerson, although the thought of going to UoGuelph is hauntingly attractive, especially since they might/ seem to have direct linkage to social service worker programs allowing better access and achieved credits. Adam and I kind of had a mutual agreement that it was time to pull our hearts out of Guelph and focus on where we are now, even if it is in the GTA.  I love my house, and I love my neighborhood...and I love that I have the option for many other types of social services on either side of me (Hamilton, Toronto) but I just miss Guelph.  We finally made the decision to change our family doctor and dentist to a local one, because it was getting increasingly difficult for me to find time to get to Guelph what with my school and work schedule. Come September it will be even more horrendous so we made the unit decision that it was time to move on and get a doctor and dentist here. I have already contacted a doctor here, and booked an appointment for the end of the month, and I have just cut ties with the best dentist in the entire world in Guelph, so I can find one here. I don't think I'll ever find one like Dr. Khimani. That dude is seriously the nicest guy in dentistry on the planet.

Anyway, I suppose being an adult means making decisions that sometimes you aren't happy with.  I can deal with that.

Keep it 'rill yo,

K


I finally feel like I am in the right place AT THE RIGHT TIME! It's like the world makes better sense, all because I finally know what I'm good at.

This paper was written with a wonderful group of girls for my social justice and social change class. We also had to present the information. It was fun to work with a different group of girls and I'd do it again.
_______________________________________________________________________

Assignment 2: Integrative Approach to Social Change


Women: A Story of Inequality, Abuse and a Glimmer of Hope
by Kala Bennett-Alexander, VS, EMP and AW.  July 25, 2011


Introduction


For decades women have been considered the weaker sex, treated unequally and abused. Women were almost considered the “others” in certain situations. History tells us the trials and tribulations women had to endure just to live one day to the next in a world where they had no rights, no laws to protect them. This inequality left them to be abused, manipulated and exploited. The fact that men viewed them as unequal’s made it almost alright to abuse them, and there the cycle of inequality started. We have come a long way from the 1800’s, but women are still not viewed as entirely equal on both the work and home front in today’s society.

If we do not irradiate the notion that women are not equal, the instances of abuse will continue to arise with the ebb and flow of inequality. Women have a lot of potential, by educating young people about equality, and instilling strength and belief in young girls to strive to be the best they can.

Inequality

Historically women have been oppressed by gender inequalities in the workforce. Over many years the roles of women have changed dramatically. Traditionally women were not seen to be in the workforce. With the events of World War II and the feminist movement women were able to gain voices and gain certain jobs mostly in the areas of teaching, nursing and serving. Even though these roles were very gender stereotypical of what a women should be doing. As stated in the article ‘Success in your Career’, they say that during World War II women were in the work force “ as the demands of the war created a need to put able bodies to work creating the goods that our servicemen were using to protect our freedoms”( Editors in Career Planning Career Tips Life Skills). Even though women were doing a good deed and helping out in the war, if these women wanted to help out in any other way, they did not have a choice because the roles of care giving and cleaning were still seen as a women’s job.

Workplace Inequality

Today women are taking on roles that in the past you would see only men in. Some of these roles would be managers, doctors, police officers and lawyers. Women were seen as to be delicate and sensitive to emotions and subordinate to men. However, women today have proven that they can exceed in the work force. With this being said Christine Williams article, “The Glass Escalator: Hidden Advantages for Men in the Female Profession” she states that, sex segregation is a two way street and we need to drop barriers and have occupational and economic equality. Women are faced with the glass ceiling and the glass escalator. The glass ceiling is “where women go to a certain level in a corporation and she cannot go any higher that they are stopped right there with their positions and wages (Williams, 326). Williams also states, the glass escalator is the fact that some women are able to take advantage of some positions that males are dominated in. Some positions that were females oriented men are still involved. Men can also enter a female dominate position and they can reach or go higher than a female if she was in the position (Williams, 326).

Kristen Day states, “feminine gender identities are produced not in isolation, but through negotiation with and (frequently) polarization from masculine gender identities” (Day, 110). Meaning that feminine gender identities are looked at after, and decided based on masculine identities. While Connell says “I take ‘masculinity’ to be socially constructed form of life or project in time, which approaches the bodily differences of men from women into a social process of gender” (Connell, 143). The meaning is that men and women are raised differently from one another. Through these gender classification individuals have to find a balance in society to what works for them in the labour force. In time, women and men in the workforce will be treated completely equal.

Home Inequality

While looking at gender inequalities when it comes to the household, it is an ongoing issue. Historically, the roll of breadwinner has been fundamentally tied to masculinity, while the role of housekeeper and caregiver has been tied to that of femininity (Pilcher & Whelehan 1989). The nuclear family was always the ideal household. This consisted of a father, mother and the children. The father would be the breadwinner who would work and the mother would be a stay at home mom to clean and take care of the children. Even though these are the stereotypical roles of gender inequalities in the household it is shaped at birth. Right from birth our parents interact with children differently based on their sex; what a boy does from a girl. These gender roles are what shape an individual on how things will be run in their household. If you were raised in a home where they require the women to stay home to care for the family you are more likely to do the same.

Today even with the rise of the cost of living, gender inequalities in the home have changed. Women are increasing joining the workforce and are less likely to be stay at home moms. However, as stated in Arlie Hochschild article, ‘The Second Shift: Working Parents and the Revolution at Home’ talks about how even though they may be working at home they are still responsible for majority of the chores and childcare. This is why it is called the “second shift” because they have jobs in the public sphere and then come home to the private sphere and do more. Majority of the time, women put in more hours of work week between their job and the home. The stay at home image is also fading because education plays a major factor. The more education the women or even man receive, the more likely they are to pursue careers. Pilcher and Whelehan state that “males are doing more cooking, cleaning and household work than they were in the 1950s (Pilcher & Whelehan 1989). Even thought women are thought to be considered equal there are still many people who breed hate and inequality which leads to abuse of those women caught in the crossfire.

Violence against Women

Violence against women comes in many forms and affects many women on both micro and macro levels of society. Each level has been influenced by society’s history involving the inequalities women faced both enduring abuse and unfair treatment.

History

Today’s generation of people believe that violence or abuse against women is a thing of the past, but the reality is that women all over the world are being abused and mistreated. History shows that from the beginning of time women were expected to comply to all demands made by the men in her life. When she was old enough she would marry a man that would then have certain expectations of her and her duties as a wife. In the 1800’s wife beating was extremely common and only caused outrage if it was extremely brutal or life threatening (Wojtczak, 2009). Even thought it was common knowledge and acceptance that a man had the right to beat his wife if she annoyed, disobeyed or spoke ill towards him, the news in the mid 1800’s was rampant with reports of wife beating, but only found interest in the most extreme cases of violence. In 1853 Henry Fitzroy MP remarked that “no one could read the public journals without being constantly struck with horror and amazement at the numerous reports of cases of cruel and brutal assaults perpetrated upon the weaker sex by men who one blushed to think were Englishmen.” (Wojtczak, 2009). This comment makes one think that society at that time believed that yes, the man did have right to do with his wife as he wanted, but only to the extent wherein the women is not disfigured, maimed, or killed.

Physical abuse was considered to be something normal to do to women; but in the world we live in today physically abusing your spouse is considered a crime. In 1909 the law of kidnapping women was passed. Before that date a person could kidnap a woman who was over sixteen without punishment (Morris, 2011). Being captured by a person that you do not know, or whom you do know and keeping you hostage is something that physically, emotionally, and mentally damages any human being. Women have been through a lot over the years; dealing with the law, community members, and husbands alike. Women were not allowed to ask for a divorce without proving to the court with evidence of disloyalty. Without solid proof the woman was not able to file for divorce until the year 1925. Even then, the women had to come up with £1,500 to obtain the divorce, which in the end would mean they would not be allowed to remarry (Morris, 2011).

In Canada, we were blessed to have Margaret Mitchell as one of the first politicians to raise the issue of violence against women in a court of law. Ironically, Ms. Mitchell was a social worker and represented the New Democratic Party. She is known most for one incident which during a municipal meeting she demanded that the government take action to stop domestic violence against women and the other male MP’s laughed at her. It is sad to think that just a couple decades ago, we as Canadians were so backwards and unfair. It is thanks to strong supporters of equal rights such as Ms. Mitchell, that we as women are permitted to thrive as we do today.

Micro

Abuse can happen to anyone, but women and girls seem to be victimized more so than others. Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, is when one person in the relationship or marriage tries to over power and control the other person. Domestic abuse that involves physical violence is known as domestic violence. Domestic violence and abuse are used for one goal, to gain and maintain total control over the victim. Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to control and manipulate their victim. The abuser may also threaten, physically hurt their victim, or hurt those who matter most around them. Domestic abuse usually will escalate from threats and verbal abuse to physical abuse.

Even though physical and sexual abuse is considered the most obvious danger, emotional and psychological trauma of domestic abuse can be very harmful. Emotionally an abusive relationship can make you feel worthless; it can lead to anxiety and depression, and these issues can be aggravated if there is substance abuse involved as well. The issues women go through while in an abusive relationship can leave lasting scars and many women suffer from mental health issues due to the abuse. Also, women who have children and are in abusive relationships risk losing their children and the risk of an entire breakup of the family. Also, the victim of abuse may have feelings of self-loathing, helplessness, and desperation. Substance abuse is usually part of the problem or can add to the problem. In many cases the abuser uses some sort of substance. For instance, alcohol or drugs and the victim of abuse may also use some sort of substance to numb themselves from the physical and emotional pain. Abuse leaves lasting scars on an individual, and in many if not in most cases, victims of abuse need some sort of counseling or intervention. It is very important to mention the signs of an abusive relationship. The most obvious sign is fear of a partner. If the victim feels like they have to constantly watch what they say or do in order to avoid a blow-up, most likely the relationship is unhealthy and abusive. Other signs of an abusive relationship include a partner who belittles their partner or tries to dominate them.

Macro

Although abuse is considered to be a thing of the past in the Western world, it still exists behind the privacy of doors all across the world. Places like Africa and some parts of Asia still treat their women as second rate. For example, in China the male-female imbalance is rising, and there have been reports that there have been targeted abortions of female fetuses after their sex is detected by ultrasound (Lubman). This reflects the low status given to women in most parts of the world. It is perhaps the most violent and disparaging manifestation of the anti-female partiality that infects "patriarchal" societies. There are also many kidnappings of women and female children, wherein they are never to be found again. This happens most often in China when a girl is born into a family that has several other girls ahead of her. It was said that in the 1970’s in China that almost 44.4 percent of female children born to families of six or more children, would mysteriously go missing (Lubman).

Society has become more advanced in the years since the one-child only policy in China was enacted. After the World War II in Canada, women slowly managed to gain small advantages in the work force, to some extent. According to Stats Canada, most, but not all, women staying in shelters on April 15, 2010 were there because of abuse. Of the 4,645 women in shelters on that date, 71% reported abuse as their reason for seeking refuge. The majority of women reported emotional abuse (66%) and physical abuse (53%), while relatively large proportions reported threats (40%), financial abuse (39%), harassment (28%) and sexual abuse (25%) (Cotter & Burczycka). The trend is rising in our society, women are becoming more aware to their surroundings and their legal rights. Some are leaving their abusive partners. This shows by the rate of growing abuse shelters in Canada. While the overall number of shelters in Canada has increased, the growth among the different types of shelters has varied. Statistics Canada states there were 22 more shelters in 2010 than in 2008. Transition homes increased the most and continued to be the most common type of shelter for abused women in 2010. Other increases in 2010 were noted in the number of second-stage housing facilities (up 11 shelters or 11%) and women’s emergency shelters (up 6 shelters or 9%) (Cotter & Burczycka).

Women with disabilities seem to be more victimized than women without disabilities. In Canada, women with disabilities are one in one-half times more likely than non-disabled women to experience some sort of violence in their lifetime. Furthermore 67% of those disabled women surveyed had been physically or sexually assaulted as a child, compared to 44% of non-disabled women (Hick).

In Canada, there are around 509,860 cases of reported and unreported sexual assaults per year, which amounts to 1,397 sexual assaults per day. This daily stat is refined into one women or child being assaulted every minute of every day. Abuse can cause a breakdown of the family which causes many societal problems, for example children may be taken and put into foster care (Commonly asked questions about violence against women)..

Linkage Between Inequality and Abuse

Violence and women’s inequality are inextricably linked. Violence against women and girls is not only a consequence of gender inequality, but reinforces women’s low status in society and the multiple disparities between women and men (UN General Assembly, 2006). Violence against women is both a cause and a result of women’s unequal status in our society, or in other words, violence is a manifestation of women’s inequality (Collins, 1993).

Unbalanced power in relationships render women into a subordinate position than makes them socially and financially dependent on men, with limited access to resources, finances, employment, education and healthcare. Where they exist, cultural, socio-economic, structural and institutional barriers reinforce marginalization of women and any co-existing gender inequality. Such unequal power relations increase women's risks and vulnerability to exploitation and therefore leading to abuse (Kaye, 2004).

Gender inequality and discrimination are root causes of violence against women, which are influenced by a long history of power imbalances between women and men. Violence against women all boils down to women’s general lack of power and control, as well as societal norms that deem what a women’s role is in society, which in turn condones abuse. Inequalities between men and women are numerous in quantity. Inequalities span across public and private realms of life, as well as social economic, cultural and political rights in response to limitations put against women in regards to their choices and opportunities (Causes, protective and risk factors ). Inequalities can increase a women’s risk of being abused, involved in a violent relationship and exploited. Inequalities and abuse for women are intricately entwined and can almost always be expected to be experienced together in some form or another.
When a woman is considered as “less than” her male counterpart, the potential for abuse to occur rises dramatically. When a man considers himself better than his spouse, demanding no resistance, perfection from his spouse and absolute compliance he is more likely to emotionally abuse his spouse by always putting her down, which in turn can mentally convince a women that what he says is true, and finally, if non-compliance or just the need to release anger arises the man may then result to physical abuse.

Integrative Social Action Plan

Promoting gender equality is a critical part of violence prevention. We need to start as early in a child’s growth as possible, starting in primary school before the children have fully formed gender attitudes and behaviours.

Gender equality should be an important topic even in kindergarten. Making the differential between boys and girls may only be blue and pink, dolls and trucks at this age, but if you engrain in a child that both boys and girls can play the same games and like the same things, it puts each gender on an even playing field, which lessens the chance of a male child feeling dominant over a female child in the future.

A good focus must also be placed on pre-adolescents and their interaction with the opposite sex. Girls entering puberty often become either over exuberant about their sexuality or they become recluse. Girls at this age should be engrained with strength and stability, possibly operating a mentoring program in which girls of a certain age have a mentor who is older and can help them work through their feelings regarding self worth, self esteem, peer issues etc.

Our plan is to have a National Girls Movement. The advocacy plan to advocate on behalf of marginalized, and oppressed women and girls, attending to them when they are young. We will go to classrooms from an early age of development of children, typically Kindergarten. We will stress the issues of inequality of men and women along with the issues of abuse, in an appropriate age level approach. To teach the children from a young age is to instil proper judgement and age appropriate conduct between boys and girls, of all ages. Girls and boys have to realise they are different in some ways, but as a human being they have equal rights and equal opportunities. For instance, a girl can be the Prime Minister or a boy can be a stay at home parent if he wishes. We as a society label which jobs are considered female or male, but if we change the outlook of our future generation, then slowly they will change societies labelling system towards a more equal society. This will always be an ongoing issue and we believe that this type of program should be implemented in regular school teaching curriculums.

As we are learning in Social Justice and Social Change class, change is never immediate. An ongoing fight against inequality will inevitably be a topic for change for even our children and many other generations after us. However, we hope that throughout positive reinforcement regarding equal rights for all, our children will rewrite our wrongs and society will strive to be the best.

Conclusion

For many decades women have been looked down upon, singled out as the weaker sex. But what constitutes weakness? An average woman may not be able to lift a sixty pound suitcase, but they endure nine months of gruelling pregnancy, sickness, doctors appointments, poking and prodding and finally hours (and sometimes days!) of labour. If that isn’t strength, maybe the dictionary needs a new definition for strength. Society itself needs to let go of the old world belief that women are the lesser sex, that they belong in the kitchen, and that they should always come second to their husband or brother.

“Educate a boy, and you educate an individual. Educate a girl, and you educate a community.” African Proverb.

References

Causes, protective and risk factors . (n.d.). Retrieved July 20, 2011, from United Nations Entity for Gender Equality and the Empowerment of Women: Causes, protective and risk factors

Collins, M. (1993, May 1). Violence against women a symptom of inequality. Canadian Speeches , pp. 15-17.

Commonly asked questions about violence against women. (n.d.). Retrieved 07 20, 2011, from Canadian Women's Foundation: http://www.cdnwomen.org/EN/section05/3_5_1_1-violence_facts.html

Connell, R.W. "Live Fast and Die Young: The Construction of Masculinity among Young Working-class Men on the Margin of the Labour Market." Journal of Sociology 27.2 (1991): 141-71

Cotter, A., & Burczycka, M. (n.d.). Shelters for abused women in Canada, 2010. Retrieved 07 22, 2011, from Statistics Canada: http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/85-002-x/2011001/article/11495-eng.htm#a1

Day, Kristen. 2001. “Constructing Masculinity and Women’s Fear in Public Space in Irvine, California” Gendeer, Place and Culture: A Journal of Feminist Geography 8 (2) pp.109-127

Glossary. (n.d.). Retrieved July 20, 2011, from BC Society of Transition Houses: http://www.bcsth.ca/content/glossary

Hick, S. Social Work in Canada: An Introduction. Toronto: Thompson

History of Domestic Violence: A Timeline of the Battered Women's Movement. (1999, 09 01). Retrieved 07 18, 2011, from Minnesota Center Against Violence and Abuse: http://www.mincava.umn.edu/documents/herstory/herstory.html

Hochschild, Arlie Russell, & Machung, Anne. 1989 The second shift : working parents and the revolution at home / Arlie Hochschild ; with Anne Machung Viking, New York, N.Y

Kaye, D. K. (2004). Gender inequality and domestic violence: implications for human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) prevention. African Health Sciences Vol 4 No 1 .

Lubman, S. (n.d.). Infanticide detailed in China . Retrieved July 24, 2011, from Abortion TV: http://www.abortiontv.com/Misc/ChinaAbortions.htm

Morris, M. (2000). Some facts and dates in Canadian women's history of the 20th century. Retrieved 07 14, 2011, from Canadian Research Institute for the Advancement of Women : http://criaw-icref.ca/millenium

Pilcher, Jane and Whelehan. 2004. "Domestic division of Labour. " In Fifty key concepts in Gender studies. eds. Jane Pilcher and Imelda Whelehan,30-37. London: Sage.

Promoting gender equality to prevent violence against women. (2009). Retrieved 07 22, 2011, from World Heath Organization International: http://www.who.int/violence_injury_prevention/violence/gender.pdf

Statistics Canada (2011). Violence against women

Williams, Christine L. “The Glass Escalator: Hidden Advantages for Men in the “Female’ Professions” in The Gendered Society Reader, edited by Michael S. Kimmel and Amy Aronson, pp. 322-338. 2007 Oxford University Press.

Women in the Workplace- The Changing History of Female Labour. (n.d.). Success in Your Career, Retrieved 07 18, 2011, from http://www.successinyourcareer.com/datafeed/women-in-the-workplace-%E2%80%93-the-changing-history-of-female-labor

I have been on a serious peanut butter craze as of late, and I litrally feel if I dont get my bagel, peanut butter and large earl grey tea in the morning I just might explode.

I'm ok this morning, I got my fix.

So things have been pretty good lately.  Got some more progress done with the whole practicum thing, house is shaping up and we're installing a new ac and furnace next week.  We are also having an energy audit. I'm trying to cut back on consuption of gas and electric.

we also should be getting our bedroom floors done this month, wihch is nice cause I hate the carpet. It smells.

I also have fruitation in the garden...finally!!!!!! my strawberry experiment failed, but im gonna partially blame that on me, and this crazy hot weather.  I dont even remember the last time it rained? mah.

Life is good. Things are feeling better, much more zen than usual. I don't know when that box'll come flying down and hit me on the head, but for the time being, I am living good.

I have a bridal shower tomorrow than the weekend is entirely MINE.

I love that. Haven't had those in a while! <3

Now I have to plan something for our first year aniversary but i'm not sure what. Maybe I can convince Adam to go to Quebec or Ottawa... hmm

k

This is a paper I wrote for my social policy class, and by far has been my best and most highly applauded work.  Enjoy.
_____________________________________________________________


Hidden Poverty: Oakville’s poverty and Low Income Cut Off issues.
By Kala Bennett-Alexander, July 12, 2011


Introduction
Oakville is a town teeming with high end lofts and trendy stores and restaurants. There are even some well known Canadian celebrities that call the Town of Oakville their home. But behind the ritzy glamour of the downtown strip or the beautiful Lakeshore Road homes, there is an underlying hidden problem of poverty, which most are afraid to admit. Poverty in Halton is often hidden, buried under the veneer of affluence and well-being. There is a certain haze in the air, and no it isn’t the smog from Toronto. It’s the blatant disregard for people in need, in a very affluent and successful town, where people refusing to open their eyes and see the problems these misfortunate people are facing in their own well groomed back yards. There needs be an awakening within the people of Oakville, within the government and its officials to see the real experiences of real people living in poverty in Oakville.

Oakville is considered to be one of the most affluent cities in Canada. The Town of Oakville is located in Halton Region, on Lake Ontario in Southern Ontario Canada, and is part of the Greater Toronto Area. Oakville boasts beautiful marinas full of yachts and sail boats, multi-million dollar homes on acre properties surrounded by gates and castle-like verandas, and BMW’s and Porches’ line many of the streets and lay nestled in their three or four car garages at night.

When one announces to a group of friends that he or she is a resident of Oakville, all are taken aback. Known for its notable expensiveness and “snobby demeanour”, most think to live in Oakville you need to be a millionaire or on your way to being one. Truthfully, not everyone that resides in Oakville is a millionaire, or even close to being one.
Oakville boasts a meagre low income area in comparison to some of the more poverty stricken areas of the GTA such as Jane and Finch in Toronto, or Malton in Mississauga, but alas does have scattered low income areas throughout the town.
The truth of the matter is that in 2005, 7.9% of all Oakville families were considered to be living at or below the low income cut off (LICO). This was even before the recession hit in 2008 (Report Card on Poverty-Oakville Families, 2011). It would be safe to say that this rate has probably risen, or perhaps even doubled since the recession.

According to Stats Canada, low income cut-offs (LICOs) are intended to convey the income level at which a family may be in straitened circumstances because it has to spend a greater portion of its income on the basics (food, clothing and shelter) than does the average family of similar size. The LICOs vary by family size and by size of community.

The low income cut-off takes into account family size and the degree of urbanization of the community. An example is a family of four living in the Town of Oakville with a total income of $38, 610 or less in 2005 is considered to be a low income family. (Report Card on Poverty-Oakville Families, 2011).

In 2005, nearly two in five (38%) low income families were considered to be extreme-low income families. For a family of four, that means they have to survive with an annual total income of less than $20,000 in comparison to the LICO threshold which is $38,610. (Report Card on Poverty-Oakville Families, 2011).

Factors affecting low income poverty rates in Oakville

There are many factors that contribute to the ever growing amount of low income families in the Town of Oakville. The ones highlighted in this paper are cost of living, employment issues, and the cost of continuing education but these only scratch the surface of a problem that can’t stay hidden for much longer.

Cost of Living

It is no secret that Oakville excels in one thing for sure and that is money. 121 Oakville residents actually sit on the so called “Sunshine” list (Lea, April 2011), with one of our very own taking the number one spot as the most highly paid person in the public sector for the second year in a row. With all this wealth around us, you would think that this would be the town without any problems, without any “blemishes”. Perhaps that is the picture that the people sitting at Oakville city hall want you to think, but the facts are in; Oakville is not all it is cracked up to be, and that might very well be the fault of its residents, as well as its municipal representatives who let this fog of “greater importance” cloud the minds of many of the residents of Oakville.

The townsfolk of Oakville fought the development of a new shelter in Oakville in 1999, because “we don’t have homeless people”, this writer was merely a 13 year old teenager who was very involved in the Salvation Army at that time and experienced some of the strife that the church and other community organizations were going through at that time. The most recent debacle happened when a plot of land near Rebecca Street and Dorval Drive was said to be up for usage as a low income plot of land. The residents that lived around the plot of land protested the use of the land for low income housing because they didn’t want it in their neighbourhood. (Lea, June 2011). The funny thing is that the Rebecca and Dorval area is not the most “affluent” part of Old Oakville and it just goes to show that some people have their priorities very mixed up, even when their proverbial “horse” is not that much “taller” than the poor family below him.

The sad thing about Oakville is that they are more worried about their trees getting hurt than the residents that live in the town who are in distress, especially in the area of housing.

Housing

The housing market in Oakville is extremely expensive, new town homes ranging in the high $600,000 and studio apartments in upwards of a million dollars are a reflection of the ever burgeoning housing market in Oakville. As many families who live at or below the LICO do not own their own home, they are required to rent an apartment or house.

According to this writer’s research (See Appendix A), to rent a three bedroom apartment in Oakville it would cost about $15,000 a year minimum depending on cost of utilities. Using the example given in the Report Card on Poverty-Oakville Families, a family of four (one child in school and one child requires child care) living in Oakville with one parent working full-time and another working part time both at minimum wage, their after-tax income would be $33,034 (including a Child Tax benefit of $6,698). Housing would account for 45% of the after-tax income of the couple.

In some cases rent can require almost half or more of a low income couples after-tax income leaving them with just barely half their finances to put towards needs such as food, clothing, transportation and subsidized daycare. The outlook for those who live on their own without a spouse and have children are even worse than a couple family. Couple families have a higher chance of having two wage earners and are less likely to be considered low income earners than single parent families. In Oakville the incidence of low income for female lone parent families is four times higher than couple families. Also, 25% of female lone parent families live in poverty, at or below the LICO level (Report Card on Poverty-Oakville Families, 2011).

Food

According to Community Development Halton to feed a family of four a healthy diet in the Halton region it would cost about $8736.00 a year representing 26% of the after-tax income. The fact of the matter is many emergencies require monetary solutions and they do happen, and the most flexible part of a budget is the food budget. This average family will have to pull funds from their food budget to be able to combat the emergency, which lessens their ability to eat healthy foods, requiring them to turn to cost saving starch and sugar laden products such as pasta and sugary cereal, canned goods made with preservatives and chemicals instead of fresh, healthy foods. This type of diet can lead to many medical issues. Repeated emergencies that take away from the food budget have the tendency to weakened immune systems and result in health problems such as obesity, malnourishment, vitamin or mineral deficiencies and more frequent infections and colds, which can be costly when purchasing medicine or prescriptions for ailments, not to mention the numerous trips to the doctor.

Transportation

To get to and from work, as well as grocery shopping and dropping and picking up the children at childcare and school, the average cost according to the Report Card on Poverty-Oakville Families is about $5,800 a year including maintaining one used car and a bus pass for another adult in the family. The transportation cost accounts for 17% of the income. The need to have a personal vehicle in a family with two small children is often a no-brainer. Having to bus with two children having alternate routes and schedules would be taxing on time and sanity. Also after the age of 5 children are expected to pay the bus fare as well (Oakville Transit). It seems that every year the transit fare is rising exponentially. This year as of July 1, 2011, Oakville Transit introduced another fare hike which affects those who purchase monthly passes. The biggest population the hike hurts is those between the ages of 19-64, who use the monthly adult bus pass. The previous amount was $88.00 per month and it has been increased to $96.00 per month (Oakville Transit). Luckily they have not changed the average fare per bus use, and the introduction of the Presto card to the GTA transit system has kept the price of bus usage low in a time where gas prices are soaring and somewhat unpredictable.

Daycare and Basic Clothing Needs

According to the Report Card on Poverty-Oakville Families, to place the two children in subsidized early childhood education as well as before and after school programs would cost another $3,750 which accounts for 11% of the after-tax amount. According to this writers research (See Appendix B) without the subsidization, daycare can cost in upwards of $900.00 per child per month in Oakville.

Also, based on the annual Survey of Household Spending conducted by Statistics Canada in 2010, it would cost $1,283 to provide clothing for the families in all seasons. This writer also believes that as the years go on, the price of clothing seems to be growing as well, and this figure seems small in comparison to what she would spend on necessities per year.

Debt

Using the example given in the Report Card on Poverty-Oakville Families, a family of four (one child in school and one child requires child care) living in Oakville with one parent working full-time and another working part time both at minimum wage making an after-tax income of $33,034 including a Child Tax Benefit of $6,698 would find themselves in debt because their average yearly costs exceed what they make each year after-tax. In order to pay for all the daily basic needs, the family of four would need an extra $3,740 per year. Their only options at that time would be either to be forced into debt or give up some of the essentials. As stated previously the most lenient of all parts of the budget seems to be the food budget, which would probably be lowered significantly to accommodate the actuality of accumulating debt. But cutting corners in the food budget aren’t enough. This budget doesn’t account for emergencies, school trips or prescriptions either. The fact of the matter is, this is the face of many families in Oakville, and frankly some of the outlooks are even bleaker in single-parent families and immigrant families.

Finding Employment

After the recession hit many people, both rich and poor scrambled to find their footing in the economic world. Many people lost their jobs, others we’re downgraded to part-time, in turn often losing benefits and pension opportunities given to full-time employees.

According to the Report Card on Poverty-Oakville Families, on average, families that have low incomes have fewer income earners than families that are not experiencing low incomes. Also the number of full time or part time workers can have an effect on the earning power of the families. In the case of our example family, one parent only works part-time at minimum wage which cuts his/her earning potential in half should they had taken a full-time job at minimum wage.

The actual amount of low income families that had two full time workers in their families in 2005 is about one in seven, a whopping 15% who worked more than 30 hours per week to qualify as full-time(Report Card on Poverty-Oakville Families)

Only one-third (35%) of the low income families had a full time worker and almost the same percentage (32%) of the LICO families had both spouses not being employed (Report Card on Poverty-Oakville Families).

This is an obvious correlation to poverty, as if one does not work they cannot bring in income to satisfy their families needs. Percentages show in the Report on Poverty-Oakville Families that if you have two full time spouses working in the same family, than the chances of you living above the LICO line almost double. The chances of poverty also spike if you are an elderly person trying to make ends meet, and as usual, single parents with children often get the bottom of the barrel, struggling to keep a roof over their heads and food on their plates.

The frightening thing is that even though you have full-time employment, it doesn’t mean that you can be self sustainable in the province of Ontario. In 2008, one third of all Ontario children living in poverty were families with full-time, full-year hours of work (Novick, 2011). You need more than just minimum wage full-time work to get by in this world, and more importantly to get by in the Town of Oakville.

Cost of Continuing Education

With the idea of working full-time at a minimum wage job, in the town of Oakville, not being a prospect, many need to find another course of action to make sure that they are self sufficient and able to take care of themselves and their families. Many people come to the conclusion that post secondary or continuing education is the option that seems to provide the most opportunity, but at what cost?

The cost of continuing education these days is becoming so unmanageable that many people are finding it difficult to attend post secondary. For example, according to this writer’s research and experience, if you want to attend Sheridan College in the Social Service Worker Program, you should expect to pay on average $1500.00 per semester, not including your $250.00 health insurance that you pay once per calendar year, and applicable graduation fees at the end of your learning at Sheridan (See Appendix C). On top of taking the program at Sheridan, you also would have to go on social assistance, apply for a second career grant, or find some other sort of monetary way to keep you and your family afloat while you go to school full time. Some choose to work during their college years but often times it serves the student better to be able to attend as much as their focus to school work, especially if they have children and a family to attend to at the end of the school day. Ontario Student Assistance Program (OSAP) can be beneficial to those willing to use the service, but the interest rates after you start working can be gouging as this writer’s research revealed that in 2009 the Ontario Student Assistance Program was charging 11% interest on the loans they issued at the level of Colleges of Applied Arts and Technology, and even worse was their rate for Private Career Colleges, which was a whopping 15%, almost the same interest that some credit cards offer the general public. Particularly in 2009 they had a default rate of 8.0% (See Appendix D).

Although post secondary is seen to be the pathway out of poverty, this is not always the case. In times like these, education doesn’t always mean your life is set in stone before you. It does mean you have a foot in the door, and that you are more educated than the average person, but education is not always a foolproof plan to get out of poverty (Novick, 2011). The following statistics will help further illustrate the unstable outcomes of post secondary in Canada:

• 80% of low income parents in Canada had completed high school

• 50% had some sort of post secondary education studies, and

• 45% of the unemployed in Canada had completed a post-secondary education (study done in October 2010 by Statistics Canada, 2010)

Sometimes statistics like these make it hard to be able to picture a future where we are happy and content, without financial woe, or unfortunate circumstance, but all hope should not be lost. If you are willing to work for it, you can achieve it, no matter how horrible the economy looks, or how daunting the other person interviewing before you is.
Recommendations

My recommendation for the Town of Oakville is simple: Awareness. We need to take off the blindfold and accept what is in front of us. Poverty is everywhere, and in some time in our lives, we have known someone who has been touched by poverty, if it hasn’t touched us personally. Kerr Street is not just a “meagre ghetto” it’s a cry for help. Hanging some pots and sprucing up the sidewalks are not going to make the area any better. The people need support so that they can have respect and pride in their surroundings. More funding has to be provided to organizations such as Kerr Street Ministries and the Salvation Army Lighthouse to provide Oakvillian’s a place to stay when they need it and somewhere to turn to when they just can’t help themselves. The resources themselves in the Oakville area are very few and far between and when you do find them, they are strapped for funding because the Canadian Government often looks over some of the charity organizations in Oakville, simply because they are located in Oakville and serve the Oakville area.

I think that at this time, awareness is the only way we are going to be able to get through to the people who really keep holding up charity projects, and that is the majority of the residents of Oakville. They believe that having low income residential areas located near their house will bring down the value of their houses, or having a habitat for humanity house/building in their neighbourhood will shatter their perfect neighbourhood, there is no statistical data to show that this is the truth, moreover, small pockets of low income housing could balance out neighbourhoods, help cut down the stigmatization felt by those who are less fortunate than other.

The government should also realise that poverty is everywhere. Just because parts of Oakville do not look like Jane and Finch in Toronto doesn’t mean we do not have poverty, it just looks a little different. The need for help here is just as dire as Jane and Finch, just in different amounts and different areas. We have homeless in Oakville, there isn’t a day the Salvation Army Lighthouse isn’t housing someone in need of a place to stay, and the many food banks located throughout Oakville are always busy.

We as social workers, social service workers and those in the community development sector need to educate the residents of Oakville about the poverty that some of their fellow residents are experiencing, and help them realise that everyone deserves to be treated as a human, not to be denied food or shelter. Secondly, we need to initiate the government to be more responsible for who they divvy out the funding to each charity organization. Just because Oakville is an affluent community, doesn’t mean its residents are any less deserving of proper access to services when they need them, especially since there is poverty in Oakville, it is just hidden. Thirdly, and most importantly, those who feel there needs to be change have to stand up and fight for those who don’t know how to change their situations. Oakville does have the rap of being affluent and snobby, but one bad apple shouldn’t spoil the whole bunch. We are all human and we all deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.
Conclusion

By not providing enough low income housing and resources for low income families in the Town of Oakville, it makes a strong case that perhaps Oakville really doesn’t want “poor people” in their town. Perhaps the low amount of housing is indicative of a sort of social cleansing that the Town of Oakville is partaking itself in. More so, we already have legislation like the Safe Streets Act impairing the needy from using panhandling as a form of monetary gain, what’s next? Mandatory income checks to be part of certain communities?

If I have anything to say about it, and the words and thoughts of other caring, compassionate people in the town, the Oakville Mayor and counsellors will have to wake up and realise the problem sitting on their door step, that poverty in Oakville is not just a myth, but a real thriving threat to the Town’s shiny “Green” record.

Will Oakville always put the wellbeing of their Trees in front of the wellbeing of its residents? This writer hopes her gut feeling is wrong, that there can be change and acceptance in this community. Although the future is bleak, and those who are suffering aren’t getting the help they need all over the world, not just in Oakville, these practices can provide relief to those who need it most.
References

Apartments:Oakville . (n.d.). Viewit.ca. Retrieved July 9, 2011, from http://viewit.ca/vwListings.aspx?cs=1&city=Oakville

CDH. (2011, May 1). Report card on Poverty-Oakville Families. Retrieved June 28, 2011, from www.cdhalton.ca/pdf/Report-Card-on-Poverty-Oakville-Families.pdf

Early Explorers in Oakville. (n.d.). Daycare and Child Care in Canada with Reviews and Ratings. Retrieved July 9, 2011, from http://www.godaycare.com/ontario/oakville/Early+Explorers/8623/1

Fares & Policies. (n.d.). Oakville Transit. Retrieved July 7, 2011, from http://www.oakvilletransit.com/fares.htm

LICO Dec 1999. (1999, December 1). Statistics Canada: Canada's national statistical agency. Retrieved June 15, 2011, from http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/13-551-x/13-551-x1998001-eng.pdf
Lea, D. (2011, April 7). Top earners on the Sunshine List. InsideHalton
News from the Burlington Post, Oakville Beaver newspaper and others. Retrieved July 4, 2011, from http://www.insidehalton.com/community/oakvillebeaver/article/978263
Lea, D. (2011, June 1). DND lands proposal raises density concerns. InsideHalton
News from the Burlington Post, Oakville Beaver newspaper and others. Retrieved July 4, 2011, from http://www.insidehalton.com/article/1019006--dnd-lands-proposal-raises-density-concerns
Novick,M. (2011). Better Living Conditions for a Poverty Free Ontario. Presentation for Poverty free Halton (March 2011)
The Price of Eating Well in Halton. (2010, May 1). CDH. Retrieved June 28, 2011, from www.halton.ca/common/pages/UserFile.aspx?fileId=18562

So. Adam got a new job. He doesn't start until the fall, but it is no where near Guelph.

Keep this news to yourself blogosphere, Adam's boss and other coworkers do not know yet, and won't until  a month before or whatever....

I had secured two placements, one in Cambridge, another in Guelph, I was leaning towards the Guelph one... but now I don't have that option....since there is no way I'm driving to Guelph in the winter by myself.  SO! what about a placement now you say? On the hunt again I suppose...just in the GTA.



oh c'est la vie.

Another to the hilt day for me today. I fixed the front garden and mailed off my amazon shipment, which I realised was a day late and I feel bad for that but  thats my memory these days. I also managed to call 11 agencies for placement opportunities, and then to unfreakout, I watched some cute animal videos. lol.

I forgot to eat today, which was kind of nice.  But then Adam took me to Turtles and boom, I ate. Obv.  Who goes to Turtles and doesn't eat? The banquet burger is my all time favourite burger, especially on Wednesdays when I get my meal for 7.10.  Its some beer promotion but I don't drink so, yeah.

Had a little freak out, a little flutter of hearts, what with Adams sudden job change, and the whole having to find a placement somewhere else was a lot for me to handle in one swoop. I also have a huge paper due on Tuesday and I can't seem to force myself to sit down and start the bitch. Not sure why I'm doing that.

One of those weeks, or months or some shit

I am a pretty open person in this lifetime.

I share whatever you ask of me for the most part, and I don't hide anything, i.e. I wouldn't add someone to facebook and not let them see all my information available.  If you are a friend, and I am consenting to adding you to facebook, I am adding you because I trust you.  Not that you could take something from my wall and "gossip" all the other 100 or so people can see it too...sooo....yeah.

I do keep my blog to myself, and very select people, only because things that are in this blog could/would/absolutely would upset my family. I don't tell my mother the inner workings of my mind and quite frankly, I sometimes think she is either not listening to me when I tell her key integral things about my life, or she has early onset alzheimers.  I don't know which is worse either.

Last week I went to an interview at a self-help aliance placement for mental illness and I thought it was neat. They told me that in order to be a part of their agency, I had to have experienced mental illness in the past or I have an ongoing battle.  This was refreshing believe it or not. I spend  a lot of time and energy balancing my mental health, and often times I find that people react as if I have airborne siphilis or some shit if I tell them I do. You can't catch the crazies.  And also to add to that statement, I am not crazy.

So I told my mother last night about the interview and how I liked it and how I thought it was so cool they wanted only people who had experienced mental illness and she was like "oh well I guess you can't do that".  and I was like....your shitting me right? WHY? Because I seriously don't have mental illness? are you cray cray? I think shes the crazy one. Not me.

 I have spent the past THREE years sharing intimate details of my mental health with my mother, having diagnoses handed to me from the doctor and fed into her ears via telephone, and girlfriend didnt even think I had mental illness.  It took me a long time to even let my mother know I was on medication for the anxiety. Only because I knew she would overreact and I just couldn't handle that. I was on them a good six months before I told her that I was on them. I guess I secretly hoped that the meds would affect my internal digestion and I wouldn't be so anxious about telling her.

Secondly, on top of mild depression and anxiety, I have an uncategorized ocd disorder often caught between a war with tourettes and simple finger biting, or skin picking classification. I do bite my nails (but have been bite nail free since May 12!)  I don't tell people about this one often. Just because it is very rare and people just... just don't understand mental illness in the first place, let alone one such as mine.  I usually pick a disease or ailment that closely mirrors my illness and tell people I have that. Only so I don't have to explain the latin terms and the ingenuity of the disease.  Not to mention that there is no cure and that this is the rest of my life on a tarnished silver platter... I also think its gross and other people do too. I know it.


So why mention it now? to this group of people who read my blog and sometimes comment... why mention at all any innerworkings of my brain? Especially the most important part to me, which is the Kala with mental illness.  Because I have been slowly getting sick of lying to people.  I had a friend tell me I wasn't lying to people by not telling them every minute peice of information about me, but I feel I am because it is such a huge part of my life and I have a hard time opening up if I really am not, "opening up".  Sigh.

Regarless. Today is a growing day.

I also could really go for a nap.

K

I am sitting out on my back patio, taking in the fresh air and lilac scent, watching Lucy nose around every inch of the garden, looking for God only knows what, while studying for criminology and concepts of helping, which I have two midterms for tomorrow.

Got a little bit on my mind, no doubt I do I am writing on my blogspot...

Things have been pretty good lately. My mind is clear, my focus is exact, it's refreshing.  The only thing is there are some things I am putting off, only for the greater good I assume...my benefit I suppose...

How to you come face to face with something that has defeated you time and time again in your past? Whether it be a nasty rival...or a very good friend.  How do you say words you've said time and time again, hoping they'll stick this time...but really knowing they won't...that's the track record you are working with.

If I contently live my life without anyone else in it, I seem to have a perfect balance.  I feel strong and certain when I know whats going through my head....but when you interject other people, and well honestly, volatile other people, things aren't so black and white. The whole point of the matter is I am safe when I can control a situation and keep it to my liking. But when you interject other people, you can't control them.

No, I'm not saying I want to control the population in some dominating "take over the world" type jib, I just mean that I know when I am stable, and what I can handle within my own means, but when you put someone else in the equation, things do not make sense to me.

The question is, how do you stay in an argument when one person has blocked out the full and honest reason why it happened in the first place?

We've never had this happen before, to this extent, obviously some where deep down I was shaken enough to have to hide, isn't that grounds enough to show you something is wrong?

And isn't it wrong that you have no idea what happened for this to happen? For me to recluse like this?

I feel like I am just not strong enough to do this by my self, but I don't want others in the situation because...they started this in the first place.

Assignment 1: Theoretical Exploration of Oppression - LGBT Oppression in Canada

The people in the LGBT community have long since been oppressed by our society and still continue to experience societal heterosexism to this day. If this continues to occur it could have a lasting effect on the gay community, especially the youth currently exploring their sexual identification and if we do not start making changes it could result in more gay teen suicides.

Canada is considered to be one of the most advanced societies in the Western hemisphere with respect to the gay rights movement (Hopkins, 2008), allowing gay and lesbian couples to marry in all provinces across Canada since 2005 and also awards the same rights and freedoms to gay couples in regard to marital disputes, divorce, child support, Canada Pension Plan and employee benefits as heterosexual couples would be entitled to. It is true that if contrasted against the rather sparse and unrepresented LGBT faction in the United States as a whole, Canada shines like no other, but some would argue that the idea of rights for the LGBT community looks nice on paper but the fact of the matter is years of oppression, marginalization and living in a heterosexist world have left the gay community fighting to keep gay youth safe both mentally and physically. With the rash of recent suicides committed by gay teenagers across North America it is clear to see that the oppression this community faces is becoming an unavoidable issue and must be addressed.

Oppression

According to the book Doing Anti-Oppressive Practice (Burns, D. 2007 p. 2) “Oppression takes place when a person acts or a policy is enacted unjustly against an individual or group because of their affiliation to a specific group. This includes depriving people of a way to make a fair living, to participate in all aspects of social life or to experience basic freedoms and human rights. It also includes imposing belief systems, values laws and ways of life on other groups through peaceful or violent means. Oppression can be external, as in the examples above, or internal, when groups start to believe and act as if the dominant belief system, values and life way is the best and exclusive reality. Internal oppression often involves self-hate, self-censorship, shame and disowning individual and cultural realities.”

The depth to which the LGBTTTIQQ community has been oppressed cannot be merely documented in a few short paragraphs. In Canada alone, before the 1980’s being gay was actually a chargeable offence resulting in death or life in prison and was also deemed to be a “mental illness” by the DSM-II up until 1973 (Spitzer, 1981).

In recent times the gay community has been rocked by violence, hatred and extreme oppression in the form of many unsolved murder investigations totaling 6 unsolved gay men murders in Toronto alone since 2001, the most recent happening in March 2011. (Mills, 2011). Safety of the gay community is absolutely paramount and by feeling they are in danger some find themselves afraid to venture out after dark, or alone, which is limiting them from enjoying the lives that others take for granted.

The fight to keep Gay Straight Alliances out of schools has also become a cause for concern as well noting that the Catholic District School Boards in Ontario are refusing gay teens the outlet of expression through GSA clubs. The light beyond the tunnel though is that some Catholic school boards in the region are recanting their refusal to allow GSA clubs, but in the form of SIDES an acronym for safety, inclusivity, diversity and equity in place of GSAs simply because they do not like the word “Gay” (Houston, 2011). In refusing the word “Gay” they are again limiting the rights of the gay community by simply not allowing them to identify themselves as who they are. The crossroads between Freedom of Religion and your basic human right to be gay is a very messy and touchy subject. You cannot make everyone happy because in one time or another someone’s toes are going to be stepped on, so is the contradiction of the human rights code.

It is the act of oppression that makes the youth in the gay community feel ostracized, marginalized and inadequate. They sometimes feel that they do not add up and that they never will. This kind of thinking leads to thoughts of suicide and sometimes attempted and successful suicide. At least 16 studies using convenience samples have reported rates of suicide attempts ranging from 20% to 53% (McDaniel et al., 2001; R. C. Savin-Williams, 2001)

Despite differences in rates, convenience-sample studies have found higher rates of suicide attempts among LGBT youth compared to heterosexual youth participants, especially among males (Goldsmith & Institute of Medicine (U.S.). Committee on Pathophysiology & Prevention of Adolescent & Adult Suicide., 2002; McDaniel et al., 2001; R.C. Savin-Williams, 2001).

Marginalization

According to the book Doing Anti-Oppressive Practice (Burns, D. 2007 p. 73) “Marginalization refers to the context in which those who experience inequality, injustice and exploitation because of their social location live their lives. It includes not just experiences of discrimination and lack of access to resources but also everyday experiences of being seen and treated as “less than”.

I have experienced the ups and downs of a close friend struggling with her sexual identity and living her life as openly gay. I can recall a simple shopping mall stroll with my husband, my friend and her partner, each couple holding hands and sharing conversation in the most normal way possible. But I could not help but notice the stares and vicious conversations going on as we passed the food court. There were people shaking their heads and furrowing their brows in disgust. It was at that moment I wondered if they were staring at me, if I was somehow distastefully dressed or impeding their lunch break. I later pieced together what was really happening, my friend and her partner being ostracized, quietly, but ostracized nonetheless.

My friend also told me of the woes within her community dealing with marginalization and ostracizing their own. She recounted the many stories she had heard from her other openly gay male friends, about a man’s distaste with another gay male and his effeminate nature (Roberts, 2011).

The LGBT community as a whole has been marginalized for many decades but within the community no other group receives more marginalization than gay men, particularly effeminate gay men. Not only do effeminate gay men experience marginalization on a societal level, they are also affected within their peer group as many other gay men will marginalize effeminate gay men most likely because they experienced stigmatization and marginalizing themselves earlier in life stemming from their own effeminacy (Taywaditep, 2001).

Ms. Roberts also told me on occasion that it is the marginalization that makes her feel less than adequate in society and that she feels the reason gay youth resort to suicide is because they feel inadequate within themselves, their community and their families. (Roberts, 2011).

Societal Heterosexism

Heterosexism is a term that describes an ideological system that denies, denigrates, and stigmatizes any non-heterosexual form of behavior, identity, relationship, or community (Herek, 1990). Using the term heterosexism highlights the similarities between antigay opinion and other forms of prejudice, such as racism and sexism.

In our society we have been taught that the world runs as both male and female together. Extension cords have both male and female parts, marriage is for male and female couples only, pink or blue, and finally Adam and Eve only.

Gay youth are coming out in a world where they are destined not to fit in. They go against “nature” according to society. They are sexually born into this world with adversity and unconformity at their backs and without community support and family support the likelihood of them succeeding and being healthy and productive is not high. The LGBT community when brought together can be a strong and accepting society, where you can feel appreciated and safe. Victimhood is not meant to come from this paper, as the old saying goes “strength in numbers” such is the fact that children that are supported are much more likely to succeed ( A Place of Our Own: Social & Emotional Development). The gay community is strong and essentially a community within a hostile community, but they need to know they can walk through a busy shopping mall with their partner hand in hand without being disrespected, or apply for survivor benefits when their partner dies without being met with malice and disrespect, all things heterosexuals take for granted.

Unintentional heterosexism happens everywhere. Even in the school classroom. A teacher may assume each of her students will bring a guest of the opposite sex to the school dance, unintentionally making the child that does not identify that way feel different and out casted. Even in daily life, when meeting someone new you may ask a new female friend if she has a boyfriend or husband, assuming she is of heterosexual nature, meaning no harm or judgment, but coming across as you do. This is because we are living in a society which is heterosexual in nature. As a society we need to realize that not everyone fits the “typical norm”, the ideal of the society we have been raised in and are shaped by.

In conclusion, LGBT youth need to have a strong support structure both at home and at school. In an ideal world we would be accepting of others differences and embrace each other the way that man was meant to do, but this society we live in does not always meet the needs of everyone. A bigger presence on television, the internet and in schools is a great way to get the ball rolling on eradicating homophobia for good and to help our LGBT youth come to terms with the society they live in and to provide them with the tools to fight back and to take a stand against heterosexism and oppression.

References
A Place of Our Own: Social & Emotional Development. (n.d.). Homepage. Retrieved June 1, 2011, from http://aplaceofourown.org/topic.php?id=4
Baines, D. (2007). Introduction--Anti-Oppressive Social Work Practice: Fighting for Space, Fighting for Change. Doing anti-oppressive practice: building transformative, politicized social work (p. 2, 73). Halifax, N.S.: Fernwood.
Goldsmith, S. K., & Institute of Medicine (U.S.). Committee on Pathophysiology & Prevention of Adolescent & Adult Suicide.(2002). Reducing suicide: a national imperative. Washington,
D.C.: National Academies Press.
Herek, G. M. (2000). The psychology of sexual prejudice. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 9, 19-22.
Historical Background of Homosexuality. (n.d.). CSQ. Retrieved June 2, 2011, from www.csq.qc.net/sites/1676/documents/english/rappel_historique_ang.pdf
Hopkins, L. (2008, November 29). Top 10 Gay Friendly Places to Live: Countries Where Gays and Lesbians Have Equal Rights. Suite101.com: Online Magazine and Writers' Network. Retrieved May 20, 2011, from http://www.suite101.com/content/top-10-gay-friendly-places-to-live-a81257
Houston, A. (2011, January 19). GSA ban lifted by Halton Catholic school board. Xtra. Retrieved June 1, 2011, from http://www.xtra.ca/public/Toronto/GSA_ban_lifted_by_Halton_Catholic_school_board-9661.aspx
Kaufman, G. (2010, September 30). Tyler Clementi Suicide Puts Bullying In Spotlight - Music, Celebrity, Artist News
MTV . New Music Videos, Reality TV Shows, Celebrity News, Top Stories
MTV. Retrieved June 3, 2011, from http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1649057/tyler-clementi-suicide-puts-bullying-spotlight.jhtml
Makarenko, J. (2007, January 1). Same-Sex Marriage in Canada
. Mapleleafweb.com
Canada's Premier Political Education Website!. Retrieved May 28, 2011, from http://www.mapleleafweb.com/features/same-sex-marriage-canada
Mills, M. (2011, March 6). Gay man murdered in Toronto. Xtra . Retrieved June 4, 2011, from http://www.xtra.ca/blog/national/post/2011/03/06/Gay-man-murdered-in-Toronto.aspx
Roberts, Nicole. Personal interview. 21 May 2011.

Savin-Williams, R. C. (2001). Suicide attempts among sexual-minority youths: Population and measurement issues. J Consult Clin Psychol, 69, 983-991
Spitzer, R. (n.d.). The diagnostic status of homosexuality in DSM-III: a reformulation of the issues -- Spitzer 138 (2): 210 -- Am J Psychiatry. The American Journal of Psychiatry. Retrieved June 1, 2011, from http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/abstract/138/2/210

Taywaditep, K. J. (2001). Marginalization among the marginalized: Gay men's anti-effeminacy attitudes. . Journal of Homosexuality, 42(1), 1-28.

http://www.slapupsidethehead.com/tag/studies/

By Kala Bennett-Alexander

This is a paper I had to write for my Profiles in Crime class regarding  the Warren Jeffs phenomenon.

Enjoy.
___________________________________________________________________

Should Polygamy be Legal?  Kala Bennett-Alexander June 9, 2011


According to discussion in Profiles of Crime Week 4 class to consider an act a “crime” it has to meet five main properties. The five properties are intent, harm (physical act), morality, seriousness, and victim.

Intent or Mens Rea is evident with regards to polygamy because the men intend to enter into a marital-type relationship with more than one woman. Secondly, the physical act (Actus Reus) of marrying another woman in a binding “ceremony” while being legally married to another woman is performing the physical act of polygamy. With regards to morality in our society we frown upon polygamy as it is not the norm and legally you are only allowed to be married to one person at one time. On a personal scale between 1 and 10, 1 being not serious and 10 being extremely serious, the seriousness of polygamy rates at about a 2 when compared to murder, kidnapping and grand theft auto etc giving it a less than exuberant seriousness rating. Lastly, when considering the victims that come out of the act of polygamy, it really depends on your point of view. For Example, one man can have more than 80 children and one could possibly wonder if each child gets enough personal and private time with their father, which could adversely affect the child’s development.

If we apply all properties involved with polygamy, it clearly meets at least 4 out of 5. This could be an indicator as to why the Canadian Government lists polygamy as a crime.

Even thought the act of polygamy meets the criminal requirements, I still believe it to be a lost cause in regards to actually being a criminal act. I believe that if we decriminalized polygamy then there would be less people being arrested and/or jailed for the crime, and the government could make more money by charging each couple for the second or third etc marriage licence they would have to get. I am sure there could be some tax penalization applied as well. The government would also save time by not having to use the police force to investigate these matters.

On the other hand, neglect, entrapment, child abuse, sexual abuse and forcible marriage to underage girls has been reported in a higher instance within the polygamist communities so the use of social service workers and social workers would have to be introduced and regulated in their communities to make sure that all parties involved are being treated with dignity and respect. Also, if all polygamist marriages are recognized and legal then the province could monitor the ages of these girls getting married. The cost of having the extra social service workers and social workers introduced into the polygamist communities would most likely be substantial but could offset itself against the lessening of the burden to our judicial system, use of police force and charge of legal marriage licenses and other applicable tax incentives/charges.

In conclusion, with weighing the pros and cons of decriminalizing polygamy, I believe it to be a slight act compared to other acts we consider crimes. Can we really consider having two wives illegally at the same level as a serial killer or drunk driver? Personally I don’t think they are comparable at all.

I AM ROTTED! WHY DID I EVEN WATCH THE NEWS TODAY! UGH
When are you Conservatives going to realize that putting more people in jails, paying $100,000 dollars PER INMATE PER YEAR, building more jails and repeatedly producing REPEAT OFFENDERS instead of rehabilitation is not the way to combat crime! We need to find the root CAUSES, which are POVERTY and POOR EDUCATION! Not more police AND LESS SOCIAL PROGRAMS!
Did you know that in the late 1800's in the beginning of social services the church and government decided who was "worthy" of charity? Did you know that the Church didn't want to help the disabled and disfortunate because they saw their afflictions AS PUNISHMENT FOR SINS FROM GOD?! Thankfully we know better now, or do we? I do, but now the Conservatives are asking you to accept less health care, less quality school for our children, and cutting 30% of the social programs in Ontario alone! You want to pay less taxes, but with less taxes come quantity over QUALITY.
We are going back to Neolibertarian conditions Canada! and Harper is sitting in the drivers seat driving us 100 kilometers at a time! OR SHOULD I SAY MILES? Maybe I should ask Obama first! UGh. I'm disgusted because we keep digging ourselves deeper and deeper, without even knowing the issues, not researching our "assumed" opinions. You were Conservative 10 years ago, and assume you still are. YOU NEED TO KNOW THE FACTS YOU NEED TO READ AND FOLLOW YOUR POLITICAL PARTY
The Conservatives want to disband Canada. They want GLOBALIZATION, but at what cost? Ask your church, your family and other charities, because the Canadian government is pulling out from responsibility for its citizens and now wants you to look after yourself entirely, Oh? Your a single mother of two? I heard they are looking for hookers in Parkdale, good luck! YEAH! that means they are pulling funding from TERMINALLY ILL PEOPLE, ELDERLY PEOPLE, CANCER PATIENTS even the DisAbled and BLIND. Again, Conservative is just another work for neolibertarian NAZI. UGH.
Will you full admit to being a neoliberal nazi?

So, me not being a bible humper, and able to hum along to a Gaga song on any given day, would obviously point out that I may be quite liberal and unaffected by plays of attention and less than savoury displays that Gaga usually puts on.  I hate this one.  Mostly because of the lyrical content. 

Again I repeat, I dont hump bibles anymore, but this song gives me this eery feeling telling me that this probably isn't a good song to be writing, performing, and lastly sticking in little kids heads everywhere.

I feel that it is a little blasphamous, and just as I wouldn't write and perform a song called "F*g" which contains inappropriate lyrics about the gay community, blasphamically calling out Elton or Liza, or whatever, as it would be absolutely uncalled for and unfair, and it would be mean for me to talk about their community and shine an unfair light on it.

I think it is distasteful and rude to do this to the "God fearing" community.  I know she considers it art, but ... you gotta be careful girlfriend.  You fight for the rights of oppressed people everywhere, you believe in equality and respect for our fellow man....and even though I don't love bible humpers, I think by doing the video as she did it came off as very disrepectful.

We have to respect everyone's relgions, cultures, differences in whole.  You all know I'm a fierce LGBTTTIQQ activist and ally and I love my gays, right along with my striaghts. But I'm not going to do what this video has done to a group of people whom give a lot of crap to the gay community, even if I don't agree with them, and sometimes make crude comments myself. Which I'm trying hard not to, don't worry.

Anyway, although I thought the video was disrespectful, I do find that is rather tame for momma monster. No birthing scenes this time, but she did dance in her underwear again.

Check out the vid, what do you think?

So I finally got my grade point average back today and boy was I happy! and a little surprised? but happy nonetheless.  I'm sitting at a 4.0gpa, which gives me a 90+ average. I believe I got four A's and two A+'s which makes my head spin, as I thought in one class I was going to get mid 80's, but ... I knew he liked me, lol.

So on that happy note, toodles. Just wanted to finally rub it in, I worked my ASS off and this GPA proves it! I am smartical when I apply myself! boo-ya grandma.

the end

On the way to virginia beach to get my beach on! I don't want to go home to politics :(

Over night stay at the Holiday Inn in Altoona, PA. Mostly because the cities name is Altoona. Al-Toooona. Altoona. Never gets old. 3 hours left to our treck to DC!

Ps. Say it, Al-toona. Do it.

Over the boarder, Adam didn't tell boarder officials about the Mexican in our trunk.  They were more concerned about citrus fruits! HAHA.



I keed. I keed

My goal on this trip to to get shot because I'm going to tell every second american I see, that I'm canadianically superior! yes! canadianically! so superior I made a word up! yes, I have travel insurance, lol.

EH.

Vacation time everyone!


This vacation could not come at a better time, and we need it more than most people sometimes.  This vacation is also considered our honeymoon, but where most couples hold up in a hot place by the ocean we're hitting the mean streets of DC to get our culture on, then enjoy some time in Virginia Beach. I am hoping it will be warm enough to swim, and if not, to at least sun bathe. I am white. Whiter than white... I am iridecent. And yes, I like my whiteness, and yes, I am uber obsessed with cancer and sun ruining my skin (gotta keep my moles unmolested, hahaha), but that doesn't mean I can't wear only 2 layers of sun screen instread of 3! A slight bake is better than a full on orange fit!

Anyway, if I don't post, you know why... I say I will be backdating my posts so that I can keep track of them here. But, you'll see.


Say tuned :) I can't wait to eat DC.

Kdawg